Positively Pastoral

Hello there. My name is Jessica, and I am living with ADHD. I will get into more specifics on this later. But the most important thing you need to know right now is that I only this week received a diagnosis.  Being an adult with ADHD brings on challenges that you don't hear about a lot. I wanted to document every step of my journey, so I am re-starting my old blog. I want to remember where I started. I want to inspire people who are suspecting that they themselves might have ADHD. I want people who love someone with ADHD to better understand what they are going through. I want my own spouse and loved ones to understand what I am going though. Disclaimer:  Not everyone with ADHD shows the same symptoms, characteristics, etc. I am speaking from my own lived experience, as that is the only authority I have on this matter. I am still learning a lot, and I invite you to join me on this journey as well. Today was the first day I started taking medications for my diagnosis. I am wor...

If you've followed any of my posts on Facebook, or read some of my previous blog posts, you'd know of the tumultuous state of the United Methodist Church following the 2019 General Conference. The Traditionalist Plan passed and it appears more and more that the UMC is going to split, or crumble. Being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I had to understand my place in the UMC and how I was going to respond - understanding my call to be a pastor and believing that God's love is for ALL people. How could I be a part of a church who would turn some of my friends away? Why would I choose to be a part of a church where I may not be allowed to become a pastor, as my call was directing me? I considered putting my call "on hold" until the UMC "figured themselves out". It seems very apparent that in the next year, the UMC will split into two or three "new" denominations. So why not wait? I scheduled a meeting with the District Superintendent to tell him o...

In my Wednesday night adult study class, we're reading  A New New Testament . It's got a collection of writings from the Nag Hammadi library.  It has been a fascinating class to read sacred texts that were not included in the Bible for various reasons - part of which was that some of the texts weren't discovered until the 20th century. The texts have been thought-provoking, rich, and full of opportunities to discuss how the early church was formed. Our recent class was discussing the Apocryphon of John. I read through the text and found a word that I hadn't heard of before. It's so obscure of a word that it's not in the dictionary. After spending a grueling couple of weeks at work dealing with pressure and change, I was in a terrible place. I spent time working on taking care of myself, with the help of my doctor, and I'm doing much better now. Thanks to those who reached out - even if I didn't respond to each person directly, knowing that I have ...

It's holy week. Not only is this a big week for the Christian church, but it's a big week in my call story. Tonight is Good Friday - the annual evening where I remember my call to ministry. I had every intention of coming into this week with a fury of blog posts leading up to a big dramatic finish tonight where I finally, after a full Lenten season of lead ups, finish my call story. In full cinematic flair for all to read. Then this week happened. A big part of my identity is changing, and I'm having a difficult time adapting to the change. It is not change that I wanted nor was able to fully anticipate due to miscommunication and what I view to be poor planning. Nonetheless, I am working through it. I am glad to have the help of many mentors, friends, and family supporting me. Nobody wants to see me fail on purpose. But we all are forced into change and accept it in different ways. I do know that how we rise above the challenges is what defines us. I'm up to the task, ...

This week has been the busiest week at work for me so far this year. I knew that in order to achieve our company's goals (and my personal goals), that I would be pushed to do even more. To manage projects aggressively in order to achieve amazing results. The nice part is that so far, I have helped to achieve results that surpass our goals. The not so nice part is that the pace at which we want to grow is exceeding what we (read: I) am able to do. So that has meant that I have to work harder and longer as a result. I feel like I should be a diamond after this week. Or at least I will be after a few more weeks like this. I've noticed that with this added pressure, my anxiety has kicked back in. What I have mostly been able to manage on my own with coping techniques has been popping back up at the least opportune moments. Surprisingly enough, I have the wherewithal to do the hard things, and then it's the easy things that really get to me. Recently I felt like riding ...

Perception is a funny thing. Sometimes we create a whole reality in our minds that is just not true. And then that reality dictates the course of our lives. It affects our actions, our motivations, and our understanding of this world. Let me give you an example. In my first post, I talked about how I'm awkward. Because I really and honestly feel that I am. At least, the experience that I've had and the ways in which I see the world responding around me would lead me to feel that I am awkward. And rather than try to change the face that I am awkward, I just believe it. I embrace it, so that it's less difficult to swallow when I do experience something where I appear awkward. But what if it was presented to me in a different way? What if instead of seeing myself as awkward, I would acknowledge other skills about myself? Like how I am unique  in how I handle a situation with calmness and positivity. How I am innovative  because I can see a situation from multiple angles to...